Posting for the hell of it

I don't have time to be doing this, but I am drunk on cheap wine so here it goes. I got mid terms next week but during that time, I have something even better: the Genetics Engineering Club with the one armed guy. I am going to be friends with him so I can go trick or treating with him this Halloween. I can go as an old fat lady, and he can dress up as a slot machine. It'll be a dynamic duo.

Yesterday was a blast even though I had class from 9am to 9pm. We went to a creek behind the View for our ecology class. Surprisingly, water was clear. I caught some minnows and got my feet wet. But the whole time, I was pestering the cool black guy in our group. I have seen a lot of black guys, but I have never seen a stereotypical "cool black guy". He has an intimidating air, but he's actually quite nice and friendly. I don't understand how he can maintain his coolness while being nice at the same time.




Anyway, he was friends with a bunch of experienced poker players on campus. I am looking for good cash games on campus so I asked him to help me get into the game. Later I found out that he knew the famous poker player jungleman. He had no idea jungleman was so famous. I knew he had to know him because he said he was on one of his party buses, of which he had thrown six. This info didn't show up in the major publications and seeing how he didn't know how to play poker at all, it was pretty clear that this was the real deal.

He said he'll ask his friends about the game, but to be honest, I am not too thrilled about going. I know I am going to go broke playing them and losing a lot of money before midterms would suck. Plus I got a seat at a pretty soft cash game this Friday. I was working Friday nights, but when I heard about this other game, I told my manager I got a research position so I had to switch my shift.

She kept whining about "Please keep on top of things, Carol has to take extra time out to deal with this situation", but you know, life happens. Plus I am older than her, so it feels kind of weird. She reminds me of my old ugly drama teacher who liked be because I never questioned her incompetence.

My lab group is awesome. I do feel that my presence does annoy the shit out of them at times, but I can't change being an idiot.


My TA in the far right who is much younger than I am. He's pretty chill dude. I kept running into him at the Co-Op which led to some awkward moments. Probably because I didn't even remember his name, and he knew my name instantly.

Then after the lab, I saw a horse on campus which was so FRIGGING COOL so I took a pic of it. Came out bad, except for his white ass.

Is this horse porn?


Hello UMD Equestrian Club. Something about girls on horses is a huge turn on. No idea why.

Would you rather fuck a good looking guy or an old grandma with sagging tits?

If you are gay, would you rather fuck a good looking woman, or a grandpa with sagging balls?

Zen koans of the day.

BTW Loofahs are fucking amazing. I got one from Kmart for $1.99. I fucking hate Kmart, but I had to kill some time so I bought it. Man, my skin feels nothing like it was before. I don't care what you say. You are not a man until you have properly exfoliated your skin. It was like I was living a lie all these times. Wow I am so drunk.

Can't think of good titles

Today I gave blood. I heard from my sister how much cookies they had (along with free swag) so I made an appointment online and signed up right after my classes finished. They had set up in the Atrium Room at the Stamp. By the time I got there, they were pretty full. They had to turn away the random walk ins.

I waited about ten minutes before they called my number up. I sat next to this Chinese girl who had no chin. She was pretty, but she had a flat chin so her face was super round. I think I could tap that if she took care of it with yellow play-doh or something.

They led me to this partition where a male nurse took my blood pressure, temperature, and iron levels of my blood. Then he left the partition while I answered some questions on the computer.

Some weird questions were:
1) Have you engaged in sexual activity with another man?
2) Have you ever had sex in exchange for money, favors, etc?
3) Were you in the UK in the last three years?

Since I wasn't a gay heroin addict, he led me to the open area and drained me. I was done in about 6 minutes which was faster than average.


I got two cookies, an apple juice, and a tote bag. I liked giving blood because I felt like I was getting a good work out even though I was lying still.

Afterward, I got a veggie wrap and a slice of pie from the Food Co-Op. I told her to make it as if she were going to eat it, but she couldn't refrain from asking questions. The wrap was amazing. I felt like it was making sweet, sweet love to my tongue.


Probably closest I can come to understanding gay sex. The pie on the other hand was shit. I honestly don't think they even baked it. The pastry was doughy and the pumpkin filling tasted like raw pumpkin.

Before work, I had to get some stuff out of my car. I accidentally dropped my keys in the cup holder and locked myself out. I only noticed when I had to go back to the car for something I had left and realized I didn't have my keys. I didn't know what to do so I went over to Stamp to eat dinner before my shift started. My friend was playing Go there, and he said I should calls DOTs. They closed early on Friday, but they hooked me up with Public Safety.

She really saved my ass. It was the second time I had locked myself out of the car. The first time was when I was working in food delivery. I had to pick up a huge order in Bethesda, but I left my keys in the ignition and locked the door. Some of the cooks and servers got together and helped me unlock the door. I carried a second key in my wallet after that experience (which came handy a few more times).

I ran to my bus after she opened the door. Good thing it wasn't late. After the shift, I went over to a home cash game in CP. It was a good environment, friendly host, fast dealer, and some nice tables. They were mostly tight with some loose players.

I felt like they couldn't hand read very well when they called out some ridiculous hands the way the action went.

Grabbing food

I had classes from 9:00am to 3:00pm and then a brief hour break before driving Adelphi. I felt so sleepy and exhausted because going to sleep 3:00am in the middle of the week is throwing my sleep cycle out of whack. I get adjusted to a normal sleeping schedule and then BAM!

I had Bio lecture with Iranian dude who is also in my professional writing class. He actually went to Dental School in Iran, then had a chance to come here on a green card so withdrew and enrolled in UMD. Ironically, only his upper level courses transferred so even though he has taken Genetics and Biochemistry, he needs to take Freshmen courses like Ecology and O Chem.

He's friendly and meticulous on the surface, but I didn't like really him. Unlike most people, it was pretty obvious when he lost interest in conversation, and he was negative for the most part. I guess that's the type of people dentistry attracts. Ever since I was little, I have always thought dentists were in general douche bags, even my uncle. Probably because I had a ton of cavities from being a fat little Asian fuck. The first memory I have of a dentist was of a smiling man who promised 1) it wouldn't hurt and 2) open wide. That's right. I was raped by a dentist when I was 6.

With a bad mood, I began Physics Lab. It was pretty mind numbingly inane, but I had a cool TA who was pretty understanding. The lab book I am using is four years old. My sister used the exact same lab book when she took it. Man, I could have saved 40 bucks and not done anything.

I felt like I made a bad impression on the Indian girl in my group because I was so domineering, but I just wanted to get out early and take a nap. I felt pretty cranky and annoyed the whole time until I took a short nap in my car before starting my shift. I hope I didn't act too much like a douche. She was cute, but she looked freakishly like the Indian guy next to her. They even had the same last name.

kind of like this but browner

They kept insisting they weren't related, but I felt they had to be second cousins. I bet she was really digging that Indian guy b/c he looked like her (same height, complexion, facial bone structure, etc.). People are attracted to people who look like them, possibly because they think they can pass on a greater share of similar genes, idk.

Whatever it was, there was some crazy sexy incest dynamic going on in my Physics group. Can't wait to see how it turns out later in the semester. I also have a tall black guy who speaks slow but is pretty smart. Go figure.

Feeling much better after the nap, I started Adelphi. Starting the shift was a mess. When I was on Campus Drive going to Stamp, an ambulance came disrupting traffic. That same ambulance just parked in the middle of the single lane road in front of Art-Soc even though there was service parking right next to the road. It was packed everywhere. This is what traffic looked like on New Hampshire Ave. Notice the traffic lights are green.


I got off my Adelphi shift jonesing for some meatball sandwiches. First choice was the Food Co-Op at Stamp because I am trying to eat healthy, but they closed early this year for some reason. I remembered they opened until 7pm on Wednesday nights. Then I went to Subway, but they are out of meatballs. Fine, I proceed to Sbarro for some spaghetti and meatballs. They are out of spaghetti, but plenty of meatballs. The Hispanic lady kept pointing at lasagna but I don't want meatballs with lasagna so I go to McDonalds and have a chicken sandwich. Rude customer service, tastes good, feels like shit after wards: shit sandwich for gluttons. I am starting to hate McDonalds.

16 Topping Pizza

Today our Papa Johns in College Park offered a pretty insane deal. For this Tuesday only, Papa John would offer a LG pizza with one free topping for every touchdown the Terps scored times two for a win. Since they scored a ton against Morgan State, they offered 16 free toppings for a $9.99 large pizza.

Even though it was a far walk, I couldn't resist the deal. It was going to be a legendary pizza. I got there at 3:00pm and as expected, no one was there. Only 2 Chinese guys were waiting for a pizza. The clerk asked me what I wanted, and I told him to give me everything. This was an once in a lifetime opportunity to get a 16 topping pizza. It was going to be gross.


He gave me a skeptical look and then he laughed. He asked me if there were certain things I wouldn't want on it like anchovies, and I thought that was being disingenuous. It wouldn't be fair to pick favorites if you are trying to accomplish something monumental.

I asked him if there were things that he wouldn't put on his pizza. He said he doesn't like pepperoni. My natural response was to tell him he was in the wrong line of work. How can you work in a place where you hate the most popular item that everyone orders as an afterthought? It's like a Quaker pimping out Chinese hookers while taking action on the side.

Finally, after a few minutes of waiting that glorious fat bastard arrived out of the oven, crippled with an identity crisis from birth.

It wasn't that bad, just a little salter than what I usually get (mushroom and pineapples). Dude was a pro. If I had been making that pizza, you would not be able to close the lid. I enjoyed it but my stomach felt like the Middle East after Ramadan.

Fun Monday

I had a great day today. Today was the first day of labs so I was at school from 8am to 8:30pm. I had lunch with a guy I met in lab. He was eating from Panda, but I got a veggie wrap from the food co-op. I told the wrapper to make me something he would enjoy, and he got really fired up from that. The wrap was pretty damn good. It had red sun dried peppers, olives, some toasty brown thing with tons of shredded vegetables, mayo and cheese.

He was a history major switching to Biology and was a junior just like I was. It's been a while since I had such engaging conversation. I don't meet someone who shares a lot of my interest often. We chatted about Goldman, World War II, doctors, family, etc. and then went to a meeting on Bioengineering. The two people who hosted the meeting were the geekiest people I have ever met in College Park. I don't hate nerds; I consider myself as one. But god damn, for some reason I wanted to punch them in the face and take their lunch money.



The one who seemed to be in charge had a speech impediment that could be only described as a shrill mumble. Later the real leader came with a bumbling projector which he aimed at the side wall because the slide wouldn't work. Kind of ironic that they couldn't work a slide with all their science acumen. He seemed nice and looked pretty decent, but halfway through his presentation, it was evident that he needed to get out more. He was natural with his buddies, but when addressing us, he was absolutely wooden and didn't follow a discernible trajectory. Also he kept turning to us for inputs on how he should proceed.

I had to duck out early because of O Chem lab and partly because it seemed like a waste of my time. It took a while to find the right room, and I was blown away with how nice it was. It made my general chemistry room look like the back of the bus on Cinco del Mayo. My high school science room was better equipped than the gen chem lab, and I went to the ghetto school in Columbia.

I was impressed with how we each got our own stations and hoods rather than relying on team work. I made a few mistakes during the experiment but nothing too major. There was an Asian girl who sat next to me but of all the people in the class, she seemed the most uptight towards me.

I was wondering if she were one of those Asian guy haters because of a bad relationship with their fathers. Oh, well. I seemed to hit it off with the Jewish guy and a cute girl whose name I couldn't say or remember. She had an unusual name, and I am bad with names. Probably because I spent most of my life as an anti-social retard.

Now my rant. I had run into a pro-life rally in which they had graphic signs in front of Hornbake equating abortion with genocide. That really pissed me off. It's not that I am a feminist or that I particularly care about abortion. Aside from the cultural and social politics, what they are saying is stupid. P




By equating abortion with murder, you are saying that a fetus has a life. That a fetus has a consciousness and an individual right/will aside from the mother. But if it is its own individual with their own rights, then they are infringing upon the right of the mother by stealing her nutrients she doesn't want to provide. Therefore, legally she can deprive that fetus of her nutrients and if the pro-life supporters want that fetus to live, then they should adopt those "aborted" fetuses and raise them in their own uterus.


You can see how illogical that train of thought will lead you if you assign something inanimate as a human fetus the same value as a real human baby. Let's take it further.

These same pro-life supporters want to extend the rights of the humans to not just fetuses, but rather stem cells. That's right. These cells that have barely begun meiosis and cell division. Technically they are still a sperm and an egg joined together with nothing being added or subtracted. If stem cells should be treated as humans, can you imagine how insane the world will become?

Every time a girl gets her period, she would have committed a murder because she got rid of her egg when a baby could have formed from it. I would be guilty of at least a handful of genocides when I beat my meat because each sperm had a potential to be a baby.

Pro-lifers might claim that this assertion isn't true. That they don't care about eggs or sperms alone. They only oppose it when they are together because when they are together they can create a human. But I am saying that you cannot differentiate the whole from the parts.

Just because the whole has different properties and function as the parts, doesn't mean it is greater than the parts. On the contrary, I believe that the whole is equal to the summation of its parts.

People fall into this fallacy all the time. They think that a part alone is useless. Therefore the whole must be something greater than what the parts imply. This is just failing at math, saying that 1+1=3.

The whole exhibits properties different from its parts because different interactions between many new parts will inevitably create a novel property. However, this novel property can only come from the interactions between the said parts.

If we could just create new properties and bring into existence new beings from merely assembling parts with no regard for science, we would in effect be Gods. We would not be restrained by the principles of nature if we could do that. But no, we can't. All our clever assemblies all adhere to the laws of nature. Our creations never exhibit properties that cannot be explained by the summation of the parts alone.

Finally, should women decide? I say, of course. They have been getting abortions with or without societal approval since mankind first started. For one thing, if a woman's body is feeling ill or is malnourished, the body makes the logical decision to abort the fetus. Saving the fetus at the expense of the mother is stupid because even if the kid is born, the mother won't be around to take care of the baby. The baby will automatically die so the best chance of the mother passing on her genes is saving herself. I am not saying mothers don't risk their lives to save their kid. But biologically, the body makes the decision during extreme situations.

Also women bear the biggest burden/ cost of carrying a child. They are vulnerable for 9 months straight and for the next 12 years tending for the kid. It is a huge commitment that may or may not be shared by their mate. That is why females have to be picky about who they partner with. Since they are carrying the most burden/ cost, in a partnership such as that, they should have the final say. After all, we aren't going into labor for them so why the hell should we expect them to?

Lazy Sunday

I got so much stuff to do today. Not one of them are major, but taking them as a whole in one day seems pretty daunting. Saturday was pretty much a wash. I got my tail lights fixed (three bulbs plus one license light) and after that played some poker to clear my bonus and that was it.

I got a text at 9 from Nick asking if I could cover him next Wednesday. He said he had to go to a dinner. I told him I could if he could find someone to cover my Adelphi run during rush hour. To be honest, I have gotten used to that run even though New Hampshire is clogged after rush hour. Dispatch called me out twice on that run last week: once for going above the speed limit on campus and for not stopping at a timed stop.

For the first infraction, I was actually just following traffic. It's that long stretch of road by Comcast that perversely limits your speed by 25 miles per hour when you can easily go 45 without noticing it. I was behind, and I was told some drivers go up to 35 to make up for lost time. I tried to keep it below 35 but the bus odometers are totally unreliable.

The second infraction came because I thought I was running late. I didn't look at the time sheet to realize that I was actually ahead. Last week I was behind the schedule by 10 minutes so I figured I was some what behind. Even with steady traffic in New Hampshire, I was ahead by ten minutes in that run.

Arguing about politics is dumb

I think Democrats and Republicans are both wrong and right at the same time. That is why I have equal affection/ disdain for them both. Isn't supporting two opposite spectrum of an ideology a contradiction?

Imagine two people standing on the opposite sides of a room. In the middle of the room is a sign post. One side of the sign says "In" and the other side says "Out". The first person will argue that the sign post says "In" while the second person will respond that it clearly says "Out". They will continue to fight while never realizing the truth because it never occurs to them to cross the room to check out the other person's claim.

Now this is a simple case where reality has just two sides and one that could be easily discerned by switching perspectives. But in main cases, the truth will have many facets which requires examination from many different angles in order to even proximate reality.

Crush, Crush

I have been wondering about crushes recently. I never have crushes anymore. When I was in middle school, I used to pine after an olive skinned girl called Mariam who had the nicest smile. She was into drawing, and I would have given anything to make her fall in love with me.

A few years ago, I found her on facebook and chatted. She looked nothing like what I remembered. All my romantic interest in her died soon after that chat. We never spoke again. She probably thought I grew up to be a crazy weirdo.

I continued to have a few more crushes as I progressed through time, but all of them dissipated once I talked to them and got to know them better. I guess you develop crushes when you are young and naive about people, especially in their capacity as potential mates.

Your rudimentary mind recognizes a few prerequisites for a successful partner and engages in the chemistry of attraction when you see them. But when you are just starting out, you are shy and know little about people. So after your first encounter, your brain fervently tries to fill in the missing gaps with the most likely qualities this potential mate would exhibit by culling past examples of other romantic partners (movies, stories, books, etc.).

What you inadvertently create in your mind is a perfect lover who is physically embodied in that person. Basically, you fall in love with the idea that you just created.

So you fall in love and then break your heart because a house built on a mirage is just a roof.

It is important that we understand the lies we tell to ourselves; especially the fact the way we perceive reality is not reality. In fact, everyone has a distorted vision of reality to some extent because they need to center it on themselves to make the necessary calculations and adjustments in dealing with other people. This is a given. Of course some people take it too far and are called self centered. Others go the other way, and destroy their self-identity.

Most people can deal with it just fine because most people don't even understand how they think. What's frightening about all this is how a lot of people don't realize that the reality they perceive is a product of their own construct.

People have problems in life. That is a given. But a lot of these problems are problems because we make them to be. They are a source of great anguish and pain even though they do not have to be.

Nevertheless, we can't use that as an excuse to abandon people when they are in distress. In fact, it is all the more of a reason to stop and help them because they don't have to be in pain needlessly.

Midnight Shift Mind Tricks

Every driver starting their first semester driving needs to drive one midnight shift. For a midnight shift to be considered a midnight shift, it needs to occur after 1:00 am for one hour. I chose to drive the MGM route from 10:25 to 2:50 am because the route was short and easy. So I didn't really expect it to be so hard.

I expected the usual sleep deprivation so I took plenty of precautions by bringing some coffee and a speaker system for my mp3 player. But what I didn't expect was cabin fever.

There were absolutely no one on my bus for the last two hours of my shift. I was actually hoping for the prospect of picking up some random drunk kid off the street just so that I could have someone to talk to or at least see. My mind began playing tricks on me. There was one bus stop that had a trash can that looked like a person from a distance.

A strange thing happened. When I was waiting at Stamp for my next run near my shift, I managed to get in a short conversation with another driver. We talked the usual talk: what's your shift, when are you punching out, soldiers exchanging war stories. I told him this was my last run but when I read the time sheet, it was my penultimate run.

This isn't the first time that has happened. When they told me I needed to drive a mandatory of 192 hours as a shuttle bus driver, I heard 100 hours.

It seems that whenever I hear something that I feel is too unacceptable or too harsh, my subconscious seems to bend the truth even though I'll find out eventually that it was wrong. These factual mistakes can be caught in time pretty easily. But I wonder if there were other lies that my subconscious told me that I haven't detected yet?

Maryland vs Navy September 6, 2010
I was fortunate enough to sign up for the Navy/ UMD football game held in Baltimore. I worked all day but, it was a blast. 70% of the time, I was hanging out with other drivers while waiting for the students to load up the buses. We took them from campus (lot 9) and drove them the stadium. For the most part, the students I drove were very courteous. A lot of the students thanked me as they got off.

The weather was great today, so a lot of girls were in shorts and looked pretty tempting. I think its one of the things I'll miss when I finish college: the pleasant sight of a beautiful girl sunbathing in front of the McKeldin. I talked to a half black/ asian girl driver today while we were waiting. She had surpassed my record of changing majors, and was contemplating switching again. I was delighted to find we had a lot in common. She recommended a book called Jacques the Fatalist which I'll check out when I have some free time.

All the drivers received nosebleed sections. One of the drivers, David managed to scalp his for $20. When we got to our seats, it was directly behind our UMD section. The view was actually not that bad. The game was a slow, slug fest composed entirely of running plays. But it was fun because Maryland made some great plays/ mistakes, and it was a close game until the last moment. Still the heat was unbearable, so after half time, we decided to skip it and head to inner harbor for something to drink/ eat.



Compared to the stadium prices, the food at the inner harbor looked like the dollar menu from McDonalds. They were selling a can of beer for $8.50 and water for $4.50 which is a pretty dumb deal no matter how you look at it. I wanted something cold to drink, but didn't want soda so I chose to get a smoothie. Banana was too boring and mango was okay, but if I was going dip my toe in the pool, I might as well dive in and get the gayest drink possible: the pina colada. My penis shrunk about 3 inches, but I escaped relatively unscathed.

Driving back was tough. I had a lot more passengers. Also I pissed some of them off inadvertently because I thought I was too full. The thing about driving a bus at 65 miles an hour in a four lane highway at night is that, it is fucking scary as hell. Every minor bump in the road makes the entire bus shudder. Also the giant wheel moves half an inch or so when you hit those bumps making you feel like you are going to veer into the lane next to you and hit someone.

For that entire trip. I was gripping the steering wheel so hard that my fingers were locked. I was sweating so much, the wheel became slippery to hold. Also high beams and the random cars cutting me off wasn't helping either. Driving would haven't been so bad if I didn't have so many people. I was especially nervous because there were so many people on the bus that if I make even a small mistake, I can hurt a lot of people. So I more or less drove like an old lady going under the speed limit at times and leaving a lot of room in front of me. Also I took much more time to pass people because the wheel isn't sensitive like a car and the bus is wider than most cars. I have to make tiny adjustments constantly even to go straight because it keeps twisting like a child throwing a tantrum.

When my shift was over, I drove like a maniac, or something close to it. Compared to driving a bus, driving a car is like being on a fighter jet. Low slung on the floor with responsive handling and hydraulic brakes...man its the best.