A Miracle

I almost cried today. I was about to burst into tears. Tears of joy that is. I was working on my O Chem post lab questions as usual during TA office hours. As usual, there was the clueless blond TA who is friendly, but kind of out of it. She tells me something that is generally right, but not really because she doesn't understand it well enough herself. It was going to be a long Friday as usual.

For an one credit class, I spend ridiculous amount of time on the labs. I spend at least 2 to 3 hours reading the lab and trying to understand it. Then I write out my notebook for a grade. After the three hour lab, I spend an additional five to eight hours answering the post lab questions. Most of the time is wasted by asking the TAs who give the most vaguest responses like a sphinx with a FAQ list. Then I compare and share answers with others who are also struggling as me. The last lab took me 9 hours to answer, and I could only finish it the hour before it was due because the TA sent the right data the morning we had lab.

But today was different. Today, someone was giving out direct, concrete answers to our mindless, repetitive questions instead of the usual "just think about the bonding strength of weak nucleophiles and aprotic solvents." At first, I thought this person was working on the post lab questions as me and helping her friend out. I still asked if she was a TA, and she said yes. I witnessed a miracle. TAs will usually tell you the right answer if you have the right answer so there really isn't much point. But this TA was actually giving out the answers left and right without hedging. It was like being a witness to a miracle. I was touched. I stayed quiet as more and more miracles occurred. "What is the molecular weight of 2 Bromo-Methane?" "115 g/mol"

"How would changing the base to a tert-butyloexide from a hydroxide effect the reaction mechanism and the products?"

"Because the base is bulkier, the steric effects are increased and the E2 reaction will occur the outermost beta carbon and produce the less stable product."

I wept silently as I copied down these golden manna from the heavens, thanking that blond goddess in the pink North Face fleece jacket in my heart. She could have joined a sorority, according to her, but was hindered because of the onerous demands of the science major (plus the fact that none of the older sorority members ever took a single useful science course).

To avenge such a gross miscarriage of justice, she gave back by helping us, the poor, the down-trodden, and the stupid.